Behind This Hat

A Tribute Blog By Raphaela Fritz

Photo Credit: Helen Joy George

Behind this hat, my love, a lot has happened that no one else will ever know or understand, only us, the couple behind it.

Eighteen years ago on leap year, the day out of time, the universe pulled us together and we collided, awakening a great force in the joining. You wore a hat then, not this one. Your head was clean shaven, shiny, glowing, lit up unlike any other I ever met, otherworldly, flowing, open.

When two forces join, things fall away that need to. Unresolved wounds find space to show themselves and heal.

Behind this hat: one hat, two breaths, one life, and many lifetimes lived simultaneously. In those first days and months it was cosmic, psychedelic, wild, dangerous, free, unbounded. People stared at our rapid mystical union. Some whispered, two people like you will never make it.

Five months in we conceived our son. We got engaged with no plans to marry soon yet we did, just two weeks before Lucien was born.

Behind this hat: eras of bliss and struggle, mirroring the parts within each other that needed to be shed, old forms of ourselves that no longer serve. Those little parts fought to hang on. Face to face, heart to heart, shadow by shadow, day by day, year by year, the shedding continued. New parts of yourself opened, new roots, new shoots, new blossoms, cycling again.

In our sovereign sacred relationship so much work happens behind the hat, never ending. There the real transformation resides: going deeper, rising to the surface, then deep again.

When we went through the fire of creation and sustenance of life, through the grief of loss, death, dissolving, endings, through the joys of witnessing our children grow and evolve, and also when they struggle, we were forever changed. When we witnessed the world falling apart, so much darkness yet new beauty arising from it, we were forever changed.

Nothing beautiful comes easily, but when you show up again and again, the

beauty arises.

Witnessing and walking through these past eighteen years with you, this

man, has forever changed me and continues to forever change me. There

is more transformation than will ever be known.

A lot happens behind this hat, my love, and I am grateful beyond words

to share every hidden breath of it with you.

---

Sovereign Pearl

Reclaiming Feminine Radiance & Wholeness

An Online Embodint Immersion For Women

March 5-May 5

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